you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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