how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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