I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
