Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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