they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
