it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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