he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
