Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize