There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize