jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
