I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
