i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
