So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
