Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
