we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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