Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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