i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
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