I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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