And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
