and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
