Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
