is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize