i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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