i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
