dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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