Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
