I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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