No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
