A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
