"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We talked him into tasing himself.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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