Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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