Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize