Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize