is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize