Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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