why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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