So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
