Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
