what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
