Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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