lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
