Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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