I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
love makes seman taste better
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
