its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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