I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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