Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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