you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
