It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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