No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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