have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
