I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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