Who wears a wallet chain?!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
