I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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