Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
