Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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