Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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