Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize