Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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