This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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