Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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