We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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