Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
