Porn is love you can see.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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