worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
