So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
