dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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