another moral hangover. fuck.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
